Sometimes, despite your best training efforts, your human will stubbornly resist bending to your whim. In these extreme circumstances, you may have to punish your human. Obvious punishments, such as scratching furniture or eating household plants, are likely to backfire--the unsophisticated humans are likely to misinterpret the activities and then try to discipline YOU. Instead, we offer these subtle but nonetheless effective Alternatives:
Use the cat box during an important formal dinner.
Stare impassively at your human while it is attempting a romantic interlude.
Stand over an important piece of electronic equipment and feign a hairball attack.
After your human has watched a particularly disturbing horror film, stand by the hall closet and then slowly back away, hissing and yowling.
Although your cat may act independent and be litter-trained, he still counts on you to provide him with food, water, safe shelter, regular veterinary care, companionship, and more. Take care of these ten essentials, and you'll be guaranteed to develop a rewarding relationship with your feline companion.
Outfit your cat with a collar and ID tag that includes your name, address, and telephone number. No matter how careful you are, there's a chance your companion may slip out the door—an ID tag greatly increases the chance that your cat will be returned home safely.
Follow local cat registration laws. Licensing, a registration and identification system administered by some local governments, protects both cats and people in the community.
Keep your cat indoors. Keeping your cat safely confined at all times is best for you, your pet, and your community.
Take your cat to the veterinarian for regular check-ups. If you do not have a veterinarian, ask your local animal shelter or a pet-owning friend for a referral.
Spay or neuter your pet. This will keep her healthier and will reduce the problem of cat overpopulation.
Give your cat a nutritionally balanced diet, including constant access to fresh water. Ask your veterinarian for advice on what and how often to feed your pet.
Train your cat to refrain from undesirable behaviors such as scratching furniture and jumping on countertops. Contrary to popular belief, cats can be trained with a bit of patience, effort, and understanding on your part.
Groom your cat often to keep her coat healthy, soft, and shiny. Although it is especially important to brush long-haired cats to prevent their hair from matting, even short-haired felines need to be groomed to remove as much loose hair as possible. When cats groom themselves, they ingest a great deal of hair, which often leads to hairballs.
Set aside time to play with your cat. While cats do not need the same level of exercise that dogs do, enjoying regular play sessions with your pet will provide him with the physical exercise and mental stimulation he needs, as well as strengthen the bond you share.
Be loyal to and patient with your cat. Make sure the expectations you have of your companion are reasonable and remember that the vast majority of behavior problems can be solved. If you are struggling with your pet's behavior, contact your veterinarian or local animal shelter for advice, and check out the HSUS's Pets for Life campaign information.
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
**
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
***
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
***
In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.
***
As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.
***
One cat just leads to another.
***
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
***
Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
***
People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.
***
I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.
***
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
***
Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.
***
Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.
***
I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.
***
My husband said it was him or the cat... I miss him sometimes.
***
Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit.
***
The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually beomes a cat.
***
As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.
***
Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.
***
I believe cats to be spirits come to earth. A cat, I am sure, could walk on a cloud without coming through.
***
Whether one eats a cat or not is a personal choice, and I don't want to sway anyone one way or another. But if you do, there is one obvious cooking tip: Always remember to remove the bell from the cat's collar before cooking.
***
A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded: 'Take me to the canaries'.
***
Cats always seem so very wise, when staring with their half-closed eyes. Can they be thinking, "I'll be nice, and maybe she will feed me twice?"
***
People with insufficient personalities are fond of cats. These people adore being ignored.
![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_si7X6xWF929YU7Vsm3VzArE1jthzLqRFo0BxpJM9JA6WXoyWoLVH1K5EhipUJjPPoUzrEEu7ItXxUREZSqg1NxBZjl5y9AS5BIzw4HZlhvAqxOGIbOeLXeod-TELMdc7jHUakaYbwoZqEyyFgq1Lmh=s0-d)
![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_vi2zCJw0uScowCUqflO_t7Y9SEM_RQKG5e6GusZpzrV2pFfvzjTTaKZ_UfBsZy9xScLFdTZaZD8JcQJ7Va9uiib8zOcM5KEmhHf0BIpuzqGNz6w5oeNvQgmcr35fJAlXvD9Ja4fl4mbxVzt6fgKwI=s0-d)
